The intimate art of matchmaking and tango

Last night, I had a brief encounter with Aleeza Ben Shalom at a meet and greet centered around matchmaking. You might recognize her from the popular Jewish Reality Matchmaking show on Netflix. Some attendees came with hopes of finding their perfect match, while others sought to gain insights into becoming matchmakers themselves. Additionally, many were simply eager to catch a glimpse of the renowned matchmaker from the hit Netflix series.

What we think we see in Jewish dating and Argentine Tango

I thought of some of the stereotypes for Judaism and Argentine tango that people seek out or use as cautionary tales. Though much of Jewish dating and a couples life is cold and mechanical, or the extreme of hypersexualization and exploitation of the “macho Argentino and overly passionate Argentina”, and their sexy tango latín dance. These extremes make for great box office ticketing, sexual tourism, and cautionary tales. How much does it really help us in genuine connection?

What is the possible reality

During the event, Aleeza discussed the psychology of intimacy and the various factors that contribute to establishing and sustaining intimate relationships. One topic she touched upon was the Jewish dating tradition known as Negiah, which places emphasis on refraining from sensual physical contact before or during marriage. The purpose of this practice is to foster emotional connection and develop non-sexual intimacy between partners. It underscores the significance of truly getting to know one another on a deeper level, focusing on emotional compatibility and shared values.

Reflecting on Aleeza’s insights, I found myself drawing connections to the realm of Argentine Tango. In the Jewish dating tradition, Negiah serves as a means of creating a foundation of emotional intimacy without relying on physical touch. Similarly, in the world of Argentine Tango, non-sexual consensual intimate touch assumes a pivotal role in cultivating communication and connection between dance partners. Tango is renowned for its emphasis on establishing a profound connection, trust, and non-verbal communication. Through physical touch and movement, tango dancers forge a deep bond and establish a shared language of expression. Learning and practicing tango necessitate vulnerability, trust, and the ability to attune to each other’s movements, mirroring and responding in perfect harmony.

Both Tango and Judaism recognize sensuality and intimacy as avenues for personal expression, connection, and emotional richness. While Tango showcases sensuality through dance, music, and movement, Judaism embraces intimacy as an integral aspect of married life, fostering love, unity, and the perpetuation of the Jewish faith.

To learn more about Aleeza and her work click on her website https://marriagemindedmentor.com/